Absinthe

No matter how painful it was or hard it has been for me, I know I can still move on, in God’s time. All I need is space and ample period to recover what was broken from me. You both may have unintentionally cut my heart into pieces, but please help me put it back again. If not whole, at least I could save a part of it and still function by its purpose, to love again. Let me learn to forget you. Let me try not to cry again coz after all those I’ve been through it was then enough to say I am still human, I get tired.

after my original blog has been restored to its original state, and after the hacker finally decided to make it decent again and after removing those filthy words he wrote on blog, finally, i decided to use it again and soon enough i won’t be updating this blog anymore,. aw,,, but don’t be sad. i still have my multiply account and my blog there is still working,. yeah, i update it, true enough,.

i just find it awkward to post too personal rants here in friendster since almost all of my friends may have the chance to read them. tsk tsk, it’s sometimes hard for me to shout everything out knowing that after doing so, my life won’t be that too private anymore. unlike when i post them somewhere else, readers may read them, including my dirtiest secrets, but they may have not the chance to know me personally. no attachments involved therefore. it’s easier to rant, easier to spill out and easier to bluff. nyahahaha!

there. i just dropped by to tell you this. if you want to know where that secret blog is, look for it. \lol. obviously, i won’t give the url.

Taken and confused.

Why can’t they keep their promises?
Why can’t they mean what they say?

You usually think before acting which makes your life quite easy. But
you often are the one who give yourself a hard time by being paranoid.
People might not truly understand you but you are really nice to be
around. You are cheerful and friendly. Your Love, Still water runs
deep, that’s what you are. You always surprise others with your new
character when you are in love. Your love trap often comes unexpectedly
and your love life is full of surprises.

Sana, sana lang, may mga bagay na pwedeng burahin sa memorya pag gusto mo nang kalimutan. Sana lang talaga… kasi kung may isang genie na tutupad sa mga hiling ko, kahit yun na lang sana tuparin niya! Alam mo ba yung feeling na isang parte ng buhay mo ay naging masamang panaginip? Alam mo yung gustung gusto mo nang gumising pero may pumipigil sa’yo hanggang sa nararamdaman mong hindi ka na makahinga? Gusto mong maigalaw ang mga paa mo, mga kamay mo pero nagiging manhid ang bawat pitik kaya wala ring kwenta?!!! Kung pwede lang talagang baliktarin ang mundo at burahin ang parteng ‘yon ng buhay ko, gagawin ko. Pero walang akong karapatan at lalung lalo na, wala akong kapangyarihan gawin ‘yon. Kaya eto, naghihintay na lang ako sa himala. Malay mo, pagmulat ko isang araw, MASAYA NA ULIT AKO.

For my dearest friend :

Thanks
for always being there for me. Thanks for the time and effort to listen
and most of all for the care you choose to offer me. You’re such a good person and I appreciate it, a lot.  I’m glad that I stumbled upon your world which I thought was not mine to be found. I just want you to know that you already mean something to me though we’ve shared the shortest time together that man could have ever imagined. Sounds cheesy but true. I don’t know why when I first saw you and talked to you, it seemed like we could get along like what most close friends do. There are no empty stories nor dull moments and dead air that pass by when we exchange thoughts about our endeavors and errands that are, let’s say, usual. But the way we share it to each other makes it different. I don’t know why and how you captured my inner sense of trust knowing that I don’t disclose much to my newly-met acquaintances, but in the end it came to me that you can be my listener, my comforter, my adviser and my special friend. I am just clueless how a person like me could share some simple secrets and awkwardly, say tactless thoughts to someone I met a month ago. How weird it is.

I don’t know much about how far our friendship have gone for it’s because of the fact that I don’t count on it, needless to say, because it’s immeasurable. I keep on hoping that you and I could get a grip on what we have started. Be the same people but with better relationship- more open and wishful thinking that we could get in touch with each other not just by any mere form of communication, rather to have each other’s presence physically. You want to be with me and I want to be with you too, that’s a fact. And to add more to it, I want to say that I really look forward in seeing you again. I miss you more than you ever know……….

I don’t know when or how our wishes would turn into reality. What we have right now is everyone’s faith that our relationship would continue despite the distance and keeping the feeling of a good special friend.

XOXO,

Jezza

Wish you’re here with me coz I am missing you so badly. Don’t you worry my dear, I do feel we’ll see each other again, in God’s time. Perhaps, this has to be like what it is right now. I know God has plans and I do believe it would be good for us both. In the end we’ll realize all this waiting is worth more than anything else. This may not be the perfect time yet to be together but we’ll see… Just have faith and be strong.

My love
Ill never find the words, my love
To tell you how I feel, my love
Mere words could not explain
Precious love
You held my life within your hands
Created everything I am
Taught me how to live again

Only you
Cared when I needed a friend
Believed in me through thick and thin
This song is for you
Filled with gratitude and love

God bless you
You make me feel brand new
For God blessed me with you
You make me feel brand new
I sing this song cause you
Make me feel brand new

My love
Whenever I was insecure
You built me up and made me sure
You gave my pride back to me
Precious friend
With you Ill always have a friend
Youre someone who I can depend
To walk a path that never ends

Without you
My life has no meaning or rhyme
Like notes to a song out of time
How can I repay
You for having faith in me

I have been happy today coz I made a lot of things. Imagine, I had two reports which are umm… not-so-well-prepared. Yes, my very first report today on my very first class in this sucking rainy day was sooo impromptu. I can’t believe I pretended as if I know something in what I said. Standing in front of class, haggard-looking, filthy, wet, messy from that shit rain, hahaha… I did deliver my report just to finish it. "One down!", I told myself. But after that was such a craze of never ending procrastination for my HRIM 109 class. Yep, I once again managed to wrap things up for 2 hours and not by chance that I wasted any time. I went to computer shop with my two other groupmates and guess what, 85 slides of report was born out of that effing-shit-demanding-report. I hate my professor in 109. I don’t like her, so to swear.

I am happy and I can’t point out what really the reason is. Nor myself can’t explain where this feeling comes from. Basta, happy ako. Happy akong andiyan ka!

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